just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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