tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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