Do you still have your period?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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