He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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