I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
