Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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