Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
