After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
