I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
