Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
