Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize