I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize