remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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