This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
