Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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