I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
