i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
