what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
