That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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