i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
