Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
