I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
