My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
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