smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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