it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!