sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
