How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I feel like abortions should bother me more
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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