Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
