I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize