Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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