I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize