her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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