It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize