he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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