Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
