Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
