how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
