so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
