Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
