How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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