I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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