Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
