it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
