I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
