:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
