Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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