So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
