Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize