I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
