it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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