I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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