Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
