Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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