This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
