Soap is not a condiment
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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