After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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