I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
