Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
