God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
