sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
