Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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